Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Night Blues

Well, it's official.  With nearly 2/3's of the electoral vote, and just over half of the popular vote (remind me why we still like this system), Barack Obama is our new president-elect.

Dear President Bush: this is what an actual mandate looks like, unlike what you claimed was a mandate after your skin-of-your-teeth 2004 re-election.  But, let it never be said that you failed to bring about a mandate, as this one would almost certainly not have been possible without you.

To the disappointed: fret not.  The world will not, in fact, end.  Is your America so weak that a single man could destroy it?  Is that your vision of America?  Mine neither.  And remember this also: history is prepared to declare George W. Bush one of the worst presidents in history, and he didn't destroy the country, so I don't think Obama will destroy it either.

To the Republicans: greetings comrades, prepare to embrace your new socialism.  The bad news is that we will, in fact, be spreading the wealth around.  The good news is that most of you don't have much wealth anyway.  Honestly, Russian-style socialism isn't all that different from the fascism we pushed under the neo-con's.  Either way, you end up with the Party and the plebes.

Reflections.  If CNN.com is to be believed, every swing state but Missouri is going to go for Obama (as a St. Louisan, that makes me sad, but oh well).  Ohio went quickly.  Florida... less so.  Indiana and North Carolina (both leaning red prior to today) are still in dispute, but it looks like Obama is going to eke out a victory.  Alaska is still up for grabs, but will likely go McCain, and Hawaii, with 0% of precincts reporting, has somehow already been called for Obama.  Montana's 3 electoral votes have also yet to be claimed, although no one seems to have noticed.  It's okay, Montana, we were last picked for sports when we were young, too.

In the last 5 minutes, John McCain seems to have picked up another electoral vote.  A.  Singular.  I'm not sure how that happened.

Several states have passed gay marriage bans, including California.  This will not play well in San Francisco or West Hollywood.  Better luck next time gay people.  Perhaps, in two or four years, we'll be ready to think of you as human.  Until then...  I would bet hard currency that we'll see this reversed within the next eight years, in California at least.  I'd say we can look forward to a nation-wide allowance, but that won't happen, as our first black president has openly pussed out on the gay marriage issue.  That's something history teachers will no doubt have difficulty explaining twenty years from now to their students who haven't yet learned of irony.

Abortion has fared better.  Seems we as a nation have softened to it, somewhat.  We're now much more comfortable killing babies than permitting the kinds of relationships that don't end up with them.  Okay, I'll stop ranting about the gay marriage thing.

For now...

I've done a little math an, barring any turn-arounds in as-yet-not-conclusively-decided states, Obama will have won with just over 2/3's of the electoral vote.  Wacky.  Numbers like this can only mean one thing:

Liberal media bias.

Why they didn't step up in 2004, when it really mattered, I'll never know, but they've shown their true colors tonight!  And their true color is blue!  In fact, it occurs to me that I've only been looking at CNN--maybe this whole Obama victory thing is a hoax.


As the evening wanes on, the margin contracts in Missouri (in which Democrat Jay Nixon stomped Republican Kenny Hulshof, I don't mind saying).  We'll see how this all turns out.

And then start gearing up for Palin/Romney in 2012.


1 comment:

Kurt said...

Addendum: California's Prop 8 banning gay marriage is actually too close to call at this point, although "yes" is winning.

Also, Arkansas has voted to ban gay couples from adopting.