Not that any of this matters at this point. The Presidential election was a formality--a ceremony, if you will, to appease the populace before handing Mr. Obama the keys to the proverbial castle. But at least our new King has a little eloquence. I caught the footage of his victory speech, and my God, he is a stirring orator. "Put a hand on the arc of history and bend it towards the hope of a better tomorrow."
Love him or hate him, that man can put together a compelling sentence--which is refreshing change of pace, let me tell you. This was all-the-more cemented in my brain because the next thing I read was an excerpt from W's phone call to Barack Obama and his "good bride" congratulating him on an "awesome night" and his first steps on "one of life's great journeys".
Where to start... The "good bride" thing baffles me. I mean, "bride" is an odd choice of words unless you're talking to a newlywed, and why "good"? Also, "one of life's great journeys"? The presidency is not a rite of passage, it's not a pilgrimage; it's the highest office in the land. Marriage is one of life's great journeys. The presidency is more of a happening, yes? Or an honor, or an event, or let's stick with the journey metaphor and call it "the most imporant journey you'll even take," but "one of life's great journeys"? Really? Did you hear that in a movie and then want desperately to fit it into a conversation or something? And we've got to talk about "awesome". Dear sir, college was a long time ago. The 80's were a long time ago (although that message is certainly lost on him). "Awesome" was a long time ago! Look, I know that this wasn't a public speech so much as a pseudo-private phone call that was, of course, related to the press, so there's nothing wrong with getting a little colloquial. It ain't a state dinner. But this is reflective (at least to me) of the fact that the English language is like a car, and while W may drive it to work every day, he doesn't exactly know how to change the oil.
Though still undecided and narrowing, it looks like California's Prop 8 is going to pass (in spite of the exit polls). What a proud year for homophobia. But, in cheerier news, the Democrats have affirmed their majority in the House of Representatives, and there are still a handful of seats up for grabs, but it's the House, so who really cares?
Which leads us to the 4 Senate seats that remain undecided, all of which will likely go to Republicans. The closest race there is Minnesota, which is somewhat thrown off by an Independent candidate. The Republican is ahead by 500-odd votes, but only has a 42% majority, so I'm not sure how that will be resolved (run-off, perhaps?). The predictions markets have given up on the Democratic Party there, much to the dismay of Al Franken fans, I'm sure.
The other upset, and perhaps this year's WTF-Were-You-People-Thinking-Award winner is Alaska's Senate race, in which it looks like newly convicted felon Ted Stevens is going to hold onto his seat. Mind-boggling, this. Guilty on counts of falsifying Senate documents and accepting bribes from oil companies--a court of law has declared him to be a corrupt politician, but the people of Alaska have decided to reelect him anyway. This, to me, begs the question: does the Alaskan Independence Party have a Missouri chapter? If not, we should start one. Missourians for Alaskan Secession.
Who's with me?