You may have heard that President Obama is taking steps that may lead to normalized diplomatic relations with Cuba. This may alarm you, but before you immediately lash back, think of the positives. All those cigars you smoke will become legal, for instance. Furthermore, the sanctions we enacted to force the Communists out of power may very well have prevented Cuba from ever Democratizing, which means Obama may ultimately achieve what you've been trying for years (and failing) to achieve by way of the CIA and economic torture. Did I mention failure? Bay of Pigs? Failure. All those assassination attempts? Failure. Yeah, all that shit.
But don't get upset, trust us. The democratic process has resulted in the election of a leader who will actually do what you want, in spite of the fact that you don't believe he's an American citizen (doubly ironic when one considers that John McCain was born in Panama). Go back to bed, watch your American Idol, sing your patriotic songs, have some tea (too soon), and let the adults drive for a while.