Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Aesthetics of Politics (In North Carolina, Anyway)

I'm torn. The worst campaign website in the world went up recently, for George Hutchins in 2010. It's laughably awful. A coworker described it as "clawing up from the depths of Hell to stab him in the eyes".

Part of me feels so bad for the guy. I just want to point out all the horrible, horrible flaws in design and, you know, sentence structure. Clue him in on little things: "Pot Smoking" is not a noun and should not be used as a subject. Use the gerund phrase "Smoking pot" instead. Shy away from the comma key a bit. Believe me, when I'm telling you that you use too many commas, you use way too many freaking commas.

I want to leave comments in his forums, telling him that the poster linking to efowl.com is fucking with him! And basic web stuff--backgrounds should not be stark red. Words should usually be the same color when they appear in the same sentence. Rather than listing your sentences sequentially, organize them into paragraphs. You know.

And I particularly like this (which I've reproduced sans formatting for the ease of all our eyes):
"America is a Great Nation, due to our Diversity; but ONLY WHEN, This Diversity is VOLUNTARY."
Okay, you clearly do not know how to properly use a semi-colon, a comma, or capital letters. And really, is diversity what makes America great? When did America become a university?

I just want to clutch the poor misguided web-designer to my bosom and tell him "There there, it'll be all right" and outline the various ways that this site is an abomination to the eyes. And at the same time, I'd hate for Mr. Hutchins to take my advice and suddenly seem, you know, like a serious politician.

So, like I said. I'm torn.

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