Monday, March 24, 2014

Thoughts Of A 2048 Player

What's this 2048 game I keep hearing about? Might as well check it out.

Oh, that's interesting. I'm not sure I see the appeal, but it's kind of fun, I guess.

Okay, I understand the mechanic behind it pretty well, I can probably get higher than 32 now.

128. Not bad. I should get back to work. Oh, what the hell, one more round. It's pretty quick.

256. Man, and I caught some lucky breaks to get that high. How do they expect you to get all the way up to 2048? That's just ridiculous.

Okay, back to work for real.

Oh, just one more round.

Hah! 512! I'm getting the hang of it.

Okay, I've got a technique now. Focus on two directions and build out, try to store all of your value along one side. I can probably turn this into a winning strategy, but I really should get back to--oh, who am I kidding?

512, 512, 512. Nearly had a 1024 there. Must refine my strategy.

It's okay, I'm not really that hungry.

1024! The end is in sight! Bam!

This game used to go pretty quickly, right? I swear I lost the first game in five minutes. I'm playing much faster and it takes twenty before I--damn! Nearly had 1024. Must refine this strategy.

Okay, something's wrong here. My strategy works beautifully at the start, but it kind of falls apart once you get some big numbers on the board. There's got to be a way to crack this.

Why do you hate me, you stupid, stupid game.

"Man, that's some nice free time you've got there. Shame if anything happened to it."--the makes of 2048.

That was pretty funny, I'll post that on Twitter after one more round.

Oh, man, I just thought of another 2048 joke I can post after I get around to posting that first one I thought of.

When did it become Thursday?

Ach! I was so damned close! So. Damned. Close.

It's just a game. Not being able to win doesn't make you any less of a person. Why am I so hungry?

Another 1024. I don't even know how the hell I'm supposed to get two of those, let alone get them next to each other.

I just want to beat it. Just once. I'll beat it and then I'll put it down and never look at it again, but I'm so close to the end I can't just give up. Giving up would be the real tragedy. I'm nothing. I'm no one. I'm garbage. Until I beat this goddamn game. Just. Once.

1024, and the board is pretty clear. I can do this. I can do it. I can do it. Don't swipe the wrong direction. Just breathe. No pressure.

Okay, that was a bad place for that two to pop up. Throwing me off, but I can probably still do it.

Shit. Another... well... No, I can probably... I can still do this.

All is lost.

I am a sad, pathetic human being.

Okay, all is not technically lost. Once I'm done with this I'll analyze my... Wait... Did I just... Was that...

I did it.


I can get back to my life. I can get back to my job. I can eat something. I can sleep. I can...

I wonder if I could beat it again...

1 comment:

noncorpus said...

And in your wondering about the battle, 2048 has won the war.