Friday, July 31, 2009

Misinformation Age

The internet has given voice to the stupid. Before, if you wanted to get your voice out there, to be heard, you had to say something that someone else would be willing to reprint or broadcast. But these days, anyone can say anything. And the fact that there are so many dumb people out there can be a bit depressing.

You look at comments and flame wars in forums and see people with their idiot logic and their inability to spell. It kind of gets you down. Then you realize that those aren't the stupid ones!!!

And you want to die.

Here's a list of quotes taken from forums and blogs in which people argue against atheism and evolution (I rag on Christianity a lot, but I promise that the subject matter is incidental here, there are idiots of all faiths). My personal favorite is the second one down on the page, which I won't spoil it for you, but a few highlights include "Gravity: Doesn't exist" and "[atheists] are actually a different sect of Muslims" and "I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie" and one that any self-respecting person should find patently offensive: "If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol".

It's the "LOL" at the end that really sells it.

As internet idiocy goes, this is all rather tame. One of the reasons that I linked to a site of Christians being idiots is because you can at least trust them to keep it PG (give or take, sans a few ghastly ideas about sexuality and whom it is okay to murder). If you want truly, deeply offensive and nonsensical, check out the forums on the Google Finance DJI listing. Which frequently devolves into discussions about religion. YouTube comments are notoriously insipid (find XKCD's take on that phenomenon here and here). It's a bit too much to take. So what if we just want to sample moderate stupidity, well, that's easy too.

The moderately stupid are on TV.

Consider this clip of Bill O'Reilly explaining why Canadians have a higher life expectancy. I'll spoil it for you: because there are ten times as many Americans, there are ten times as many accidents, deaths, etc. In short, Bill, who is paid to talk on television, has no idea what a "rate" is or the math behind it. And this isn't brain-aching math, people. If there are ten times as many people having ten times as many accidents, you would expect life expectancy of the comparative populations to be roughly the same.

Bill O'Reilly is foolish about many things, but he is not a flat-out idiot. Neither is Sarah Palin, but you wouldn't know it from listening to her farewell address (She goes off-script around the 6 minutes mark in response to a heckler and by 6:30 a nice little WTF sets in).

But that's just people. We're selectively stupid. Did you know that someone polled people in the hospital who were recovering from automobile accidents where they were at fault? 85% consider themselves to be an above average driver.

Just keep that in mind. Idiocy abounds. And as bad you you think it is... it's worse.

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Podcasts Or "What Is A Mericruz And How Do You Kride It?"

I prefer listening to talk over music during my daily commute or morning runs--these being the times when I'm most likely to actually be listening to my iPod. So I listen to a lot of podcasts. I like Car Talk and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, which are both pretty much staples for... well, just about anyone who listens to podcasts. And since I'm on the NPR kick I also check out This American Life which is dry but rewarding and Planet Money, which is usually pretty interesting.

I tried How Stuff Works, but I just can't do it. The few gems are couched between too much drivel. And recently I was listening to the podcast from RockPaperShotgun.com, which is all about PC gaming except that it suffers pretty brutally from a lack of actual talk about PC gaming. The hosts are prone to ramble and it's pretty normal for them to spend twenty minutes of a forty-five minute podcast firmly off-topic.

Lately I've started listening, at the suggestion of my brother-in-law, to the podcast from WritingExcuses.com, and I've taken quite a liking to it. The episodes are short, the discussions are relevant but they stay on topic pretty well, and they have some fabulous tips for aspiring writers. My favorite tip so far (and I found this one while combing through their archives) came from a Q&A at a science fiction convention, someone asked how they come up with names for planets and characters, and their answers included this fabulous nugget: go to your e-mail, open the spam folder, and look through the names of senders. In about five minutes I came up with these gems:

  • Gisele Tomi
  • Maricruz Krider
  • Lenita Pearl
  • Alasdair Clayton
  • Norah Amparo
And to think of all the time I spent trying to come up with names for peripheral characters while emptying my spam folder. What a waste. I particularly like Maricruz Krider. I think she may have a future.

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Lola, Meet Yoda, Yoda, Lola

On a whim I looked up chords for Lola, by The Kinks, and I think I may have to learn it. It's complex enough that it shouldn't be boring to play but simple enough to memorize quickly. Most people will recognize it and can sing along, but it's not so ubiquitous that you hear it all the time. I think it would make a good addition to the troubadour's bag-o-tricks.

And it's funny. 'Cause Lola's really a dude.

There is the slight problem of the Weird Al song. Weird Al's Yoda, which is a parody of Lola. The biggest problem is that Yoda may in fact be a slightly better song. And I don't make this charge lightly.

There's the slightly higher quality of production. There's the fact that Weird Al actually has a better singing voice than Ray Davies. There's the fact that it's a song steeped in Star Wars mythos, which gives it some serious geek cred. And of course, none of this would matter except that Lola is the setup for a single solitary joke. The song is played for comedy. We are comparing comedy songs. And Yoda, frankly, is funnier.

So that's a problem. And it's a problem of the scale that I wonder if I start playing Lola that someone will start singing the Weird Al version over me thinking that it's not grievously douche-baggy. Which it is. And if you're going to sing songs in front of other people, you sort of have to be prepared for that kind of thing.

I suppose I could just learn the Weird Al version, but that'd be... well... for lack of a better term... weird.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

I Bet Peter Gabriel Uses Red Umbrellas

Is it just me, or do financial institutions' commercials tend to play like bad performance art.

Consider this bit of weirdness from Traveler's.

Their new commercials aren't any better. Now they just have people walking around with red umbrella's and non-sequiturs written on their shirts.

But I'm serious, here. Turn on MSNBC and watch a commercial break. At some point you will have people staring at something huge floating down Wall Street that turns out to be a logo. At some point, you'll see a bunch of people doing random things followed by a shot of a whale surfacing. None of this makes any sense in a vacuum.

If we weren't so used to it by now, it'd totally trip us out.

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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Hanging Blago, Et Al

In the United States it is virtually impossible to convict someone of treason. The founding fathers made it difficult because, frankly, they were involved in an act of treason. They thought treason was permissable in certain circumstances, notably the overthrow of a corrupt or tyrannical government. This is evident in, amongst other things, the phrasing of the 2nd Amendment, which states "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

It's no stretch of the imagination to read that as a statement that corruption and tyrrany are bad and sometimes the only prescription for it is violent revolution. (Sorry, anti-gun lobby.)

So two days ago there were 44 people arrested in New Jersey for corruption, money laundering, and racketeering. Those arrested included rabbis, assemblymen, and 3 mayors. The undercurrent of most of the reports all indicate the same thing: corruption is just a part of New Jersey politics. Citizens of Chicago say the same about their hometown, and I can't imagine that these are the only locales in such straits.

Evan has made the argument on more than one occasion that corruption should be rebranded as a form of treason. Misuse of the public trust for personal gain should be punished by hanging, or something more severe than a fine and a year in prison. And I suspect that the founding fathers might agree with this.

Food for thought.

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Friday, July 24, 2009

I Was Here To See Inky Busey

Saw Incubus last night, a great show and much different from the show we saw of them last year or of No Doubt two weeks ago.

Notable difference: we got home within twenty minutes of the concerts end, substantially less than the hour it took for us to leave the parking space after the No Doubt show.

They played the hits, since their newest album is a greatest-hits/rarities compilation they really didn't have to promote anything. And they played a few older tracks, like the original version of Certain Shade of Green, but best part of the show came about a third of the way through. They stripped down to a mostly acoustic setup, with only a djembe for percussion (although Jose did, in fact, play the bench on one song) and gave almost campfire-style performances of Dig, Drive, and Talk Shows on Mute. Very intimate.

Anyway, they did not disappoint. And now I must sleep.

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Romantic Tragedies

So, while working on yesterday's piece about romantic comedies, I was reminded of movies with heavy elements of romance that are not comedies. I'm calling these "romantic dramas", but I'm using the word "drama" very loosely here. Some of these movies are very funny, but they aren't rom-com's so I've included them because of a particularly dramatic or realistic way that they deal with relationships.

Also, be warned that while yesterday's piece is about romantic comedies for guys, today's is more about my personal tastes, which I realize aren't suited to everyone.

The Crow - don't tell anyone, but this darkly gothic tale is centered on a very gripping love story, and that center is what keeps this movie together when all (and I mean all) of its sequels have fallen apart.

Braveheart - I love this movie, in spite of it's relentless disregard for history, like leaving the bridge out of The Battle of Sterling Bridge, or having Wallace impregnate the queen (they weren't married until 6 years after Wallace died), to say nothing of the fact that kilts didn't come into fashion until the 16th century. All that aside, it's a very powerful film.

Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves - it's like diet Braveheart, really, but I still like it. And you can do a lot worse casting than Mary Elizabeth Masterantonio.

Chasing Amy - a very good-but-not-great comedy with some fabulously dramatic bits in Act III. Despite it's alternative setting, it tells a bittersweet story that every guy knows, about how fear and envy can drive us away from the ones we love, making us a little sadder, a little stronger in the end.

Juno - a very funny movie about a pregnant girl who is trying to understand love, but not a clear cut rom-com.

The Secret Lives of Dentists - one of those movies that I love but no one else seems to like very much. It's about a couple having marital problems and a man's attempt to keep his wife from leaving him while she's having an affair. Based on a novella called The Age of Grief, it might have been more palatable had it kept the title.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith - more of an action-flick than a drama, but the guiding mantra is this: action is easy, marriage is hard.

The Incredibles - again, not really a romance and not really a drama, but I love the realism of the relationship between Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl. The scene that really encapsulates it for me was when they were on their way to confront the bad guy and fighting about directions en route.

American Beauty - a truly dramatic, truly strange movie that's about many different flavors of love and the different ways those loves fail.

Fight Club - not really a great fit, I know, more comedy than drama, but keep in mind that Chuck Palahniuk (who wrote the book) is a homosexual and look at the relationship between Jack and Tyler and Marla as a bizarre love triangle and you'll kind of see what I'm getting at here.

Honorable mention: The Princess Bride - more fairy tale than comedy and more comedy than drama, and while it doesn't have a particularly realistic take on love, I'll include it anyway because it is arguably the best movie ever made.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Romantic Comedies That Don't... Erm... Suck

So we have coming out this week The Ugly Truth, a romantic comedy that is to be avoided at all costs. Currently at 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, this stinker follows in the tradition of last year's horrific Made of Honor (12%), which I had the misfortune to catch the first fifteen minutes of last weekend. During said first 15 minutes, we got not one but 3 jokes about fellatio. Someone dressed as Bill Clinton at a costume party made a joke to three women dressed as Monica Lewinski (it was a flashback to the 90's). A few scenes later, Michelle Monaghan is found bobbing her head in a way that made it look like she's going down on a painting of St. Stephen. Lastly, we get Sidney Pollack in his last-ever film performance negotiating the number of monthly blowjobs he can expect from his wife-to-be.

...eh...

There's bounds of, ahem, taste that we've crossed over, methinks. And I suppose it would be quite another story if the jokes were funny. But they're not, they're just crude. These two both seem to fail in the same way: trying to spice-up a standard issue rom-com and failing miserably at being either romantic and comedic.

Now, I don't automatically hate romantic comedies. I can enjoy them, so long as the comedy is funny and the romance feels genuine (it doesn't hurt if the female lead is super girl-next-door cute). I own and regularly watch several such films, and since (500) Days of Summer hasn't made it's way to St. Louis yet, I thought it might be fun to recount some of my favorite rom-com's that most husbands (or boyfriends) wouldn't mind taking in with their significant others.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall - just to spite the first few paragraphs, this film is proof that you can have penis jokes and still be funny. Also, there's a Dracula musical with puppets.

Music And Lyrics - Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. When you need a neurotic woman who can fall in love with a smarmy Englishman, accept no substitutes. The music is fun, the dialog is witty, the chemistry is very palpable, it's like two hours of charming and entertaining warm fuzzies.

While You Were Sleeping - a reason to fall in love with Sandra Bullock. Once in a while it steers too close to cheap underwear jokes (cheap jokes, not cheap underwear), but this film is mostly driven by all-to-familiar familial banter.

Sabrina - not the funniest movie in the world, but it has lots of great moments, like a drugged-up Greg Kinnear asking "Sareeeeena" if the dry-cleaner has her car. Also, Julia Ormand is distractingly attractive for two-thirds of the movie.

Ghost Town - I really didn't want to like this movie. I'm not a huge fan of Ricky Gervais, and the premise did nothing at all for me, but it's so well executed that you can't help but like it. And the ending line is great, a widow tells a dentist that it hurts when she smiles and he says he can help her with that. It could easily have been cheesy, but it really stuck with me.

50 First Dates - I don't like Adam Sandler movies either, but this one is more or less endearing, thanks largely to the lovably neurotic Barrymore. I borderlines stupid at times, but at the end of the day, the good far outweighs the bad.

Down With Love - a brilliant lampoon of the Doris Day/Rock Hudson comedies. Also, apparently it was the costume designer's dream come true. And there's a song-and-dance at the end.

Runaway Bride - the unofficial sequel to Pretty Woman, but it's much lighter and sweeter. That is, there's less prostitution. And the dialog is snappy and fun, like when the bride jumps a FedEx truck: "Where do you think she's going?"; "Wherever it is, she'll be there by 10am tomorrow morning."

Bonus: That Thing You Do! - not a rom-com strictly, but it's very funny and the love story is a major part of the plot. Early Steve Zahn, who has some of the most quotable lines on film.

There are plenty more that I've either forgotten or just haven't seen. Feel free to comment if I've omitted your favorite.

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Return of the Wildebeests

Happy 1st Anniversary to us.

Rather than write something glurgy, I'm going to link to something glurgy--namely, my post about the wedding that I wrote after the ceremony but before leaving Vegas. Because, as you'll note from the comments, I'm the kind of guy who takes an hour out of his honeymoon to write a 2,000 word essay about it.

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Monday, July 20, 2009

Coming Soon

I have enough little tidbits that are longer than tweets but don't really justify a full entry. So, here's what's going on in the life of Kurt.

After three weeks off, today is my first day back. Almost European, that sort of vacation. Remind me, again, why we hate their governments so much. On second thought, don't. In a related irony, my 3 week vacation was arrived at through a very capitalist negotiation. We can make something you want, and you want it badly, so this is what it's going to cost you. Thankfully my boss was the one actually negotiating. I haven't earned my bones in the company well enough to initiate that sort of stunt.

Moon was slow, but good (and short). Tour-de-force performance from Sam Rockwell, so if you can find a movie theater playing it, see it. Also on the under-the-radar/art-house/won't-win-Oscars-but-will-make-top-10's watch list: (500) Days of Summer and The Hurt Locker, neither of which I've seen yet, but I'm looking forward to.

I have gone from being an atheist to a dues-paying atheist. That is, I've devoted $20 a year to an anti-devotion, but on the plus side, I automatically get the magazine, as well as a cheaply made certificate. Probably ought not leave those sitting on the coffee table when my mother or in-laws drop by, you know, just to be polite. And that, perhaps, is the biggest difference between me and some of the philosophical company I keep. While I love the wealth of information available through American Atheists and am willing to support them financially (if only a little), they cross a few lines. For example, they've put out a call for debaptisms (that is, asking former churches to remove you from their rolls). I get the whole atheist-and-proud thing, but that just seems excessively rude, and I say that as someone who rails against God. But I do so in my own forum. If you want to be offended by me, you have to actually come to me and read what I write. That's different from me calling up or mailing a church and basically insulting them to their face. These are (or at least were) friends. And it's not like I get newsletters or anything.

Out of my entire week of I-used-to-be-a-Christian-and-now-I-think-God's-an-asshole, the thing that got the biggest response was (of course) an off-hand comment in the introduction. I mentioned that I subscribe to the Christ Myth Theory (that there was, in fact, no real Jesus and that the Jesus of scripture was a creation of Paul of Tarsus) and was challenged on a few particulars of that. I admitted that I was not as read-up as I would like to be to engage in a meaningful discussion but promised to come back to it. Well, I'm getting through the reading and that discussion is coming soon, not this week (between an Incubus concert and my 1st wedding anniversary, I'll be pretty busy), and perhaps not the week after, but soon-ish. There's definitely too much information to cover, or even sum-up in a single post, but I don't know yet if it will stretch out to cover a whole week.

My pregnant sister (due in October) is moving to Washington (state) in August. So that's exciting. On a related note (pun intended), all family is strange. At least on some level. Because it's family, I will not be elaborating, so don't even ask. But it doesn't involve Liz. She's just pregnant, not strange--at least not blogably strange.

And on a related note, can we please stop talking about the miracle of child-birth. It's not miraculous--it's happened to every single of one us. What do you call something that happens to everyone? It's like the exact opposite of a miracle. Hum-drum, almost. Okay, not hum-drum; I don't mean to downplay the significance. It's great, it's, well, life-changing, and it's extremely emotional, I grant, but we think that because we're programmed to breed--if we didn't get excited about these things, what would be the point? Similarly, referring to a paradigm-shifting change as a "quantum leap forward" is silly. Quanta are small. It's right there in the definition. So can we drop that, too? And also, would it break your finger to use a turn signal? And get off my lawn, you damn kids!!

My hair is almost-but-not-quite to ponytail length. Yay. Almost there (seriously, I like it long, but I need to be able to pull it back).

And one last thing. I'm following an ex-girlfriend's wedding blog, and I'm fascinated that I'm not feeling the least bit weird about it. Not a bit. I'm just plain happy for her (them). She doesn't have comments turned on, so I'll just say it here: Congrats Anne and Thom, I wish you both every happiness. I don't know Thom, but I'm glad that Anne has found someone she wants to be with.

That is all.

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Tweetie, Oh My Tweetie Pie

Which is more important? Features or functionality?

Example. Until recently I was following my tweets with Tweetdeck, which allows you to remove read tweets, sort people you follow into groups, it even hooks up to Facebook. There was just one problem.

It doesn't work.

It never remembers what you've removed, and recently it's been asking me to download an update, but whenever I try, I get an error that the computer doesn't recognize a file it's trying to open.

So I gave up and switched over to Tweetie, the Mac version of the iPhone application. No groups, no removal of read tweets. It's not nearly as customizable. But it works, and it does what it claims to do. Clean interface, good symbols, and functions at a reasonable level.

Life is about the niche. Do what you do, and do it better than anyone else, even if it only is the one thing.

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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Kicking Out My Own Plug

Is there such thing as being too plugged in?

This was our first vacation in a while where I was doing a stretch without internet access. Back in 2000, when I spent eight weeks as a camp counselor, I did without e-mail and I survived just fine. But 4 days this last weekend was oppressive.

And it's not like I was disconnected--I have a primitive web browser on my phone. I couldn't exactly surf, but I could check e-mail and keep up to date on a few services, but I couldn't run anything that was heavy on scripting, so I could never have run the Blogger dashboard or checked my work e-mail.

And actually, it was the connected-ness that was the main issue. In the car I found myself checking my e-mail every 5 minutes. Granted, part of this may have been sheer boredom (it was a drive through Kansas, after all)--and when I was keeping myself busy or when I had to leave my phone behind for recharging, I was fine. It's weird though.

I mean, I like being connected, knowing what's going on, but I don't like tethering myself to things that aren't important. I find myself stressing out over "leisure" activities and that just defeats the purpose. Consequently, every now and then I feel the need to simplify my life and I think I may be approaching just such a threshold. I don't imagine it will affect my blogging all that much, but I've already begun to cull the herd I follow on Twitter.

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Iran So Far Away

So, I wonder why we've lost interest in the Iran Elections all of a sudden. Was it Michael Jackson? It might behoove us to turn our attention back that ways, if only for what it represents.

This is a populist, democratic uprising in a state whose de facto slogan was "Death to America" since '74, and it's being broadcast to the world via blogs and Twitter. The youth are using technology to promote their ideals and to challenge an oppressive government. The usual channels failed them, so they took to the streets. Keep in mind what America means to these people. We deposed their democratically elected leader in the 50's and replaced him with a tyrant who was overthrown by a reactionary Muslim government. They have no love for us.

But they want the same things we want: jobs, representation, freedom. These are ideas that are bigger than America, so much so that our enemies embrace them in spite of the fact that they share them with us. And I can't even find out the status of things over there because all anyone cares about is MJ.

So Latoya thinks her brother was murdered, eh?

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Friday, July 10, 2009

I Have Doubts

So Abby and I went to see No Doubt last night. I think the most disturbing thing I saw was a tween in a Hooters shirt. Here's the rundown:

The first opening act was called Bedouin Soundclash, but you wouldn't have known it because they only said their name once and who actually knows how to spell "Bedouin"? Pretty good, if you like reggae. They played about six songs.

The second act was Paramore, and it was obvious that many, many people in the audience were there to see Paramore. They played well, but I wasn't exactly wowed, but I'm not exactly a fan. The only song of theirs I genuinely enjoy is Crush Crush Crush, but I didn't care for their live rendition. The bass player did a flip at one point, and the band seem to have mastered the mythic "coordinated head-bang" pretty well--well enough that it was featured on at least 3 songs that I saw. They played a few new tunes and dedicated a song off the Twilight soundtrack to "Edward". Buh. Again, I was not engaged, but I was more or less entertained and it's not like I was there to see them anyway. They played a fairly short set.

Finally No Doubt came on, and it was about what you expect from a band with that much experience: high energy, superb technique, very professional, lots of production value. But unlike some other touring-veterans I've seen (Tool come readily to mind), No Doubt managed to engage the audience. Gwen can work a crowd like no one else. It was a greatest hits show, so they played, well, every single song off of their greatest hits album (except Trapped in a Box, because nobody cares, really) plus Rock Steady (the song, not the album) and something I didn't recognize but that Abby tells me is from Gwen's first solo album, during which all the members of the opening acts came and joined No Doubt on stage and played trap sets while Adrien Young (No Doubt's drummer) walked out into the audience wearing a snare drum and a tutu.

So, there was some spectacle. Incidentally, I've decided that Adrien Young and Brian Viglione need to start a compendium for talented-but-clinically-strange percussionists. Anywho.

Perhaps the most memorable moment of the entire night was when Gwen found her "favorite person" in the audience and pulled this person up on stage. The "favorite person" was a girl, neighborhood of 8 years old, who was very nearly Gwen's miniature doppelganger with similar hair and matching black-and-silver-sequence dress. The girl immediately started crying (in that good shaken-with-emotion way, not in a bad-touch way) and then she and Gwen hugged and it was all very precious. There was some brief chatting and picture-posing and the girl gave Gwen something that looked like a hot-pink beach towel, but I couldn't tell for sure.

Adorable.

So I enjoyed myself quite a bit, but not nearly as much as Abby, who had a jumping-up-and-down-while-singing-every-single-word good time. In pigtails. That too was pretty adorable.

Looking forward to Incubus on the 23rd.

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Note: Abby and I will be on vacation for a good part of next week. Expect filler.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Sleepy Kurt's Revenge

It's time, once again to retrain the Sleepy Kurt. The Sleepy Kurt is the Kurt that only exists from the time the alarm goes off to about ten seconds after the alarm has gone off, and he's usually not a bother for myself (the Waking Kurt) and Abby.

The Sleepy Kurt, his brain more or less detached from his body, can detect the presence of a loud noise, and can often pinpoint the source, but he will not be able to identify it as an alarm clock. He might think it is a predator of some sort, or the distant cry of another Sleepy. But every few years the Sleepy Kurt figures out how to turn off the alarm clock (not hit the "snooze" button, mind you, but actually turn the damned thing off) and requires some stymieing.

This is best accomplished by placing a book on top of the alarm clock so that the Sleepy Kurt will reach for the buttons, become confused, and transition immediately into the Not-Quite-Awake-But-Mostly-Functional Kurt who is capable of realizing that if he turns the alarm off, his wife will oversleep and be angry.

I get tickled by the idea that I have to knowingly fool myself--that I have to set a trap that I will fall into. People talk about internal conflict all the time: arguing with one's self, lying to one's self. Me? I fool myself into not knowing how an alarm clock works for ten seconds or so.

I'm amused.

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Monday, July 6, 2009

Do's And Don'ts

We've made it this far into the iTunes list, let's see what we have. First the Do's.
  • Weird Al Yankovic - Do I Creep You Out
  • Queens of the Stone Age - Do It Again
  • Prince - Do Me, Baby
  • Jimmie's Chicken Shack - Do Right
  • Manfred Mann - Do Wah Diddy Diddy (any body else feel like they got a really rough take on this one?)
  • OK Go - Do What You Want
  • U2 - Do You Feel Loved
  • Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To (which, when played right after a U2 song feels drastically under-produced)
Then we get a break populated mostly by songs with the word "Dog" in the title. And on to the Don'ts, which is probably the longest stretch so far.

  • SEATBELTS - Don't Bother None (regular and long versions)
  • INXS - Don't Change
  • Ben Folds Five - Don't Change Your Plans
  • Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Don't Come Around Here No More
  • America - Don't Cross The River
  • Gun's N' Roses - Don't Cry (two versions)
  • Seal - Don't Cry (different song)
  • Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Don't Do Me Like That
  • Weird Al Yankovic - Don't Download This Song
  • Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over (80's-tastic)
  • Dave Matthews Band - Don't Drink The Water
  • Toad The Wet Sprocket - Don't Fade
Whew. Then we get two versions of (Don't Fear) The Reaper, the Blue Oyster Cult original and a cover by The Caesers. Okay, back into the list.
  • Alice In Chains - Don't Follow
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers - Don't Forget Me Now
  • Gorillaz - Don't Get Lost In Heaven
  • R.E.M. - (Don't Go Back To) Rockville
  • Elton John and Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart (a good song, but his duet of it with RuPaul was better)
  • Limp Bizkit - Don't Go Off Wondering (Elton John into Limp Bizkit... not a smooth transition)
  • Nerf Herder - Don't Hate Me (Because I'm Beautiful)
  • Norah Jones - Don't Know Why
  • Pink Floyd - Don't Leave Me Now
  • Thelma Houston - Don't Leave Me This Way
  • Weezer - Don't Let Go
  • En Vogue - Don't Let Go (Love)
  • The Beatles - Don't Let Me Down
  • Elton John - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me
  • Oasis - Don't Look Back In Anger
  • Coldplay - Don't Panic
  • The Beatles - Don't Pass Me By (such a weak addition to their catalog... oh well)
  • The Offspring - Don't Pick It Up
Whew. Last leg. Note the total lack of Journey. We start off with Don't Pull It Down from the Hair Soundtrack. Then:
  • No Doubt - Don't Speak
  • The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me
  • Fleetwood Mac - Don't Stop
  • Michael Jackson - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
  • Yarbrough & Peoples - Don't Stop The Music
  • Jonathan Coulton - Don't Talk To Strangers (yes, it's a cover)
  • Madonna - Don't Tell Me (god help me, I do love this song)
  • Metallica - Don't Tread On Me
  • Ace Of Base - Don't Turn Around
  • Husker Du - Don't Want To Know If You Are Lonely
Damn. That's a lot of Don'ts.