Kurt Pankau Dot Com

🏆 Because That's How I Beat Shaq... Hey y'all, It's getting to be that time of year, so if you're someone who is reading for things like the Hugos--and if you happen to enjoy my particular brand of weird--I would humbly ask that you consider my story  A Pin Drops . It's flash fiction, it's bonkers, and I have traumatized my friends with it. Perhaps it is something you could distract yourself with on this most stressful of days 🙃 Thanks, ]{p

🧑‍⚖️ It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You... This last weekend was the 47th  Archon , the local speculative fiction convention here in St. Louis. I started attending as a panelist right after things opened up post-COVID. Needless to say, overall attendance was down and they were in pretty dire need of speakers, so I fast-tracked my way onto the "Pro" tier. I've gone every year since, and I've developed a bit of a reputation as a fantastic moderator. To wit, five minutes into my first Saturday panel. I'd just wrapped up my opening spiel and was about to start the discussion-proper when the panelist on my right turned to me with what I initially thought was exasperation. "Oh my god," she said, "can I bring you to all of my panels to moderate?" This panelist just happened to be the Toastmistress of the con. As Toastmistress, her schedule was stacked, so I can see her being extra appreciative. A badly-managed panel is exhausting to ...

👑 Kings and Queens and Guillotines... Hey everybody! Next weekend, October 4th - 6th, I will be attending Archon 47 at the Gateway Convention Center in Collinsville, Illinois. I'll be on some writing craft panels and also putting on a concert as my alter ego, Uncle Fluffy. So if you're going to be in attendance as well, here's where you can find me: Short Stories: Big Ideas in a Small Package 4 Oct 2024, Friday 13:00 - 14:00, Salon 2 Not everything has to be grand, epic multi-book endeavors! Sometimes your idea fits best as a short story. Discuss the elements of a great short story, and how to approach them if you’re not used to thinking on a smaller scale. Surprise! You are the Panelist! 4 Oct 2024, Friday 14:00 - 15:00, Illini A A Moderator is selected but 2 to 3 other panelists are selected from the audience randomly. A subject (chosen by the Moderator) to talk about is handed to the surprise panelists to discuss. I've Got Ideas - Now What? (moderating) 4 Oct 2024,...

🤖 Domo Arigato... Hey everybody, I've got a couple of book announcements to make. So lately when people ask me what I write, I've just been saying that I write "mostly silly stories about robots". Which is more or less true. And I've come to realize that a lot of my stories just aren't readily available. They're paywalled, or they're in an anthology that's out of print, or they've succumbed to link rot, etc. I tried the reprint markets without much success (read: any  success) and it occurred to me that I have enough of them that I could just package them up in an ebook and make them available that way--especially if I could come up with a witty title and find an adequately adorable cover at a reasonable price. So with all of that said, I'm putting out an ebook of short stories with an adorable cover and a witty title. This will be coming out... soon. I need to make sure everything in there is out of exclusivity, and I want to put a few no...

📛 Power Overwhelming... Hey everybody, Next weekend, September 30 - October 2, is Archon 45, a science fiction and fantasy conference held in Collinsville, Illinois. I'm going to be there appearing on and moderating panels, and if you're going to be there and want to run into me, here's where I'm definitely going to be! Friday 5:00 PM, Marquette A - Blowing Up the Death Star is Easy, Comedy is Hard Presenter - Being funny on paper is a much different animal than telling a joke to your friends, and while a well-told joke can make a story shine, a badly-told one can completely undermine the work. Stop by for an overview of the way humor functions in stories, the mechanics behind it, and maybe even an answer to the question of why we'll never have another Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams. 7:00 PM, Salon 6 - A Nightmare on Hawkins Street: Stranger Things Season 4 Panelist - A review of Season 4 and a look into Season 5. Saturday 10:00 AM, Fishbowl - Author Reading with...

Hey, everybody! I was interviewed for the podcast Semi-Sages Of The Pages . We talked for a little over an hour about writing, short story markets, characterization, and a whole lot of other stuff. It was a lot of fun and my mike only cuts out arbitrarily a few times. Thanks to Morrigan and Molly for having me!  Check it out here. Couple of links to things I mentioned: The Submission Grinder Ms. Figgle-DeBitt's Home For Wayward AIs by Kurt Pankau All 9,203 Episodes Of "How I Met Your Broodmother", Ranked by Jenn Reese I Am Graalnak Of The Vroon Empire, Destroyer Of Worlds, Supreme Overlord Of The Planet Earth. Ask Me Anything. by Laura Pearlman Some missing context for the Binti / Hackers  portion of the talk is that while I have a computer background, I actually know very little about hacking. And while we talked about taking a shotgun approach to short story submissions, I should have mentioned a couple of posts from Dawn Vogel on Writing Lots and Submitting Lots . ...

Hey everybody! Just a real quick note that I'm going to be participating in a virtual writing conference this weekend called Flights Of Foundry . The organization putting it on is called Dream Foundry , which is a group dedicated to fostering and helping undiscovered creative talent, not just writers but artists and game developers as well. That said, there is a big emphasis on writing. Registration is free (although a smol donation would be appreciated if you're able). There's lots of great programming running round the clock, including (or perhaps in spite of) some being put on by yours truly. Here's what I'll be up to (all times are CST): Saturday, 10pm: Putting The Words In The Right Order: A "Fifty Shades" Line-Editing Demonstration Word-smithing doesn't have to be hard! Here's a guide to crafting stronger sentences and paragraphs, which Kurt will demonstrate by taking a red pen to E. L. James' breakout hit Fifty Shades Of Grey. Sunday, 12...

Update: On March 3rd, they re-issued my story with a blanket apology to the subscribers for the error. In terms of fixing the original mistake, this feels both thorough and sincere. They have still not reached out or responded to me personally. If and when that changes, I will note it here. Update: On March 21st, Jonathan apologized via email for the mixup. As far as I'm concerned, the matter is now settled. If you follow Daily Science Fiction , then you probably saw this morning's email that started "Major glitches on the spaceship DSF" and you may be wondering what some of that was about. Well, this is what some of that was about. So I recently had a story accepted by Daily Science Fiction  called Marla Corbet: Living (With The Invaders) . (I never got around to a formal announcement, so if you'd like to read it,  you can find it here . It's a very silly thing about an ersatz Martha Stewart. And human hair. And alien poop. You'll love it.) It was ...